Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

Ahh it feels like forever since Iv been able to blog. My hand is hurt so this one will be short. A simple update then when Im healed there will be bountiful blogs filled with fun action packed activities…not really. but anyways i feel out of bed and my hand landed in a glass jar and now i am unable to feel my index finger-elbow and i can only move my thumb forward.

yay injuries! Besides that i am probably now a wanted susupect of the law. I will elaborate later. hmm news? not much has happened. Colorado trip is now in full planning. we have our 4 people and i cant wait!!!! also mom’s taking me on a cruise over easter break!! yes! rainforest here i come . but for now i must go because my hand is starting to protest. Bye

    WOWW…. Yesterday was one of the most interesting Valentines Day’s ever… and not all in a good way. Welll lets start from the beginning okay? 

     I went and picked up Max…and i was late..sigh… So we came back to my house and ate a pint of ice cream. EACH! Resulting in sickness for about an hour. (not actual sickness. just wishing you were knocked out kinda thing) Sooo then he met my pa which went rather well i must say  And i took him home so that i could prepare this “dinner” thing and take a shower. 

      Well, Due to the fact that i was getting ready mom ended up making the food for me.. convenient. So Max ended up getting to my house around seven. He brought me flowers i loved them && his mom sent me cookies… i freaking love her. Anyways so we ate dinner and hung out and all that Valentine’s Day jazz.. And lena/josh keep texting me telling me i have to go to Zacks.. I wasn’t crazy about going but i sort of wanted to go because it had been a while since I’d seen my friends. soo I told mom (this is important, remember it) that i was going to Lena’s house and that her mom wasnt supposed to know since Lena “wasnt allowed to have friends over” and i left around midnight and went to Zacks..

     Now it gets interesting. I get to Zacks.. I get out of my car.. I see someone who looks slightly familiar.. and in my head I’m thinking “this cant be happening this cant be happening”. Turns out it WAS the person i thought it was and he came over and was all “heyy i missed you!” yeahh awkward. And to fill you in, we liked each other a while back, got into an argument, haven’t talked since. So apparently he had forgotten about that and it was all good, slightly weird, but good. 

     We go inside and i was suppperrr happy i went because I got to see all my dear friends again . And it made me feel a lot better that Zack and I are on better terms than we were before. But anyways, there was a lot of partying going on and such and i hear someone say “hey **** is on his way over.. this is also awkward because i dated this particular guy and we hadn’t spoken in about two weeks. He is my best friend so this was weird for me. So he gets there and we ended up having a realllyyyy good talk and things were said that explained a lot. so yet another reason this night was a good thing. bad reason? I ended up staying up allllll night because everyone else was so F’ed up it was unreal. 

       Then i get a text from my mom this morning asking me where i am and why i wasnt at lenas… yeahh “oh shit” not good right? So  told her i parked behind Lena’s house and thats why i wasnt there blah blah blah. so well see how that blows over. but yes overall Valentine’s Day was amazing. The morning after? not too great. butttt hopefully there won’t be any negative results.

Well. Today  was an early release day. So yay for no school past one . But school today was pretty much pointless since all we did was eat candy and talk about how Valentines day was the worst holiday invented. Its nothing but a way for Halmark to make money. And actually today i was thinking… people say “happy VD”..which could be taken as “happy Venereal Disease”…and I just figured it was a tad ironic that Valentines day is a day where a lot of people probably contract venereal diseases  since there’s a lot of romance in the air…hmm irony… 

      Anywayssss, Im pretty excited about tonight because we’re going to eat at bww for Kimmy’s birthday. Needless to sayyyyy, Im pumpeed!!!! Then after that I don’t really know what I’m doing. Depends on if Max can make it or not.. i hope so But if he can’t thats fine since we’re hanging out all day tomorrow…for the dreaded Valentines day… UGH i hate the holiday.. but as I’ve already said Im cooking dinner and therefore I’m excited about it… secretly . 

        People were dancing in the lobby at school today…it was strange. And they just kept playing/dancing to the Cupid Shuffle… gayness. Max/ David and I watched this and laughed…only later to find that David was down there dancing. It was a good time. 

Anyways i must go now. I need to clean and get some things for tomorrow. . Ill update on how this whole dinner thing is going to go!! BYE!!!

And its very distracting. haha. Buttttt Tonight has been pretty sweet becauseee Lena was here for the first time in too long and I missed her dearly . Also mom made a delish dinner tonight and that was AWESOME!!!!.

Sad to say i wasn’t as impressed with Nip/Tuck as I usually was last night. BUT after seeing the previews for next weeks episode I can hardly contain myself from the excitement I feel about next Tuesday night.

Another update!!!!! Valentines day is upon us my friends… and anyone who is close to me knows the dreadful pain i get in my head when this word is mentioned. I hate it. Its stupid. Why should you only show you care about someone one day a year? I don’t know. But either way. This year I must celebrate it once again. Yet I must admit im slightly excited… because im making dinner…yeahhhhh…we’ll see how that goes. Thankfully Max said he could handle one night of veggie cooking. so YAY. 

This movie on lifetime is realllyyyy wierd. Lena just said i was horrible… (here’s why: and yes i know its vulgar)

Lena:lkasfdjg;lakjrh;lakerjh;laknfgkajfBITCH;laksdjf;laksdjfalksjdf;lkajsdf

Me:FUCK YOUR CUNT

Lena:LAUREN……

you made me cry

Me:lol

Lena:but don’t look at me right now cause i lied about the crying part

so i need to fake it first

Me:i see no tears

Lena:THERE COMIN

okay

Me:that was a terrible display of fake tears

11:30 PM

Lena:BACKOFF I TRIED MY DAMNEDEST

lol

Me: nice word

Lena: thanks fucker

Me:lol fuck her

thats what u subconciously meant

Lena: fuck who?

11:35 PM

Me:your couch

Lena: my couch is not like that lauren

he is a virginal kind of leather

Me:LMAOOO

wiat

she said she was a woman

Lena: sorry

you got lied to

…by a male couch

Me:your moms a male couch

i got into her “pull out bed”

LMAOOOOO

DOUBLE JOKESSSS

Lena: you are a douche my friend, yes you are a douche

Me: LMAO

the douche your mom used after we BANGGGEEDDD

Lena:ewww

i just slapped you that was disgusting

you are vile

Yeahhh it went something like that… so im ready to go back to Boone. i miss andrea. ANDDD i realllyy want a new fish. but im going to get one this week.. his name will be breeze. its very exciting. Also UNC WON TONIGHT!!!! yay!

Today: i bombed an ap bio exam…it was a sad day… i blame jarrett. he moved away from in front of me so i couldnt text for the answers… this blog is too long..and im sleepy.. Office night tomorrow  oh and for the recorddddd…. Lena wants to bang me. k thanks

Ah yay. new blog. First off just wanna say that the Grammys last night…were…gosh darn… AMAZING!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Radiohead-15 Step…made my life. no lie. 

See told you . Anyways now for the update!!!

JAzznight went amazinggglyyyy And no lie I’m starting to really like this kid. <3 which brings me to my next note. CONGRATS JARRETT!!!! I hope things work out for the best between you two. Love you hunny

And now as i type this blog and ignore the pile of homework at the foot of my bed, I think about how annoyed I am at how petty people can be. But Im trying to rise above this and be the better person. ANYWHOOOO. I need something to drink. Im really thirsty. Gahh and all we have is Pepsi. 

I wish someone would step up and be the friend they used to be…. I miss that boy. But now i guess I’ll go get a nasty pepsi and watch the Radiohead video about another 245423 times. Goodnight Moon…

      Today. Was. Epic!!!!

Actually my life as of the past week has been so amazing…so spectacular…I can hardly stand putting in on pause to write about it in my blog. Lets start this off at Wednesday shall we?

Wednesday: Movies/Dinner with A certain someone went fabulously!!!

Thursday: Watched the Office with the same someone….Greatness.

Friday: A certain someone turned into a boyfriend Left school early because i felt like shit. And after I got home. Realized that the same someone left school early to come keep me company while I was sick…EPIC. I really dont deserve this one.  Then Chelsea and Rel came over for movie night…loved it!!!! Chelsea and I were born to be bfffs. Rel too haha. 

Saturday: Laid in bed until around 3pm. Had a pretty great car ride. Went home. Showered. Boyfriend came over and watched movies/played air hockey until it was time to go elsewhere. He left at 12:30… missed me at 12:31 <3

In conclusion: After all this terrible luck with guys and such in the past, things are looking up for me for the first REAL time in years. I love my life and im living what I love. Friends are amazing & the boyfriend is undeserved. couldn’t get ANY better. And so now I go to sleep with a happy heart and every intention of living life to the fullest. 

Adieu.  

     Well until today, I had been posting my life saga on a different blog on the same account and it was very frustrating to have to keep up with two. So i deleted one and Im just going to post on this one and start over.

(For those of you who never read the old ones, you didn’t miss much other than a bunch of complaining about my life)

      And I’m taking it as a sign that negativity never helps anyone and this blog will be more positive.  I am very happy to say that Im dealing with my problems a lot better. And even though Im having a few set backs  I think its going to turn out alright. I realized that one of my friends has a wordpress account and that makes me happy/feel less alone. 

      As for the daily update!: 

 Today went surprisingly well. I got invited to a party and that made me feel good. Also i made a 90 on a quiz in ap bio that i skipped one of the only two questions. Do not ask me how this happened. I slept away my afternoon. Staying up watching horror movies does that to you i guess. But i also found a lunch buddy. YAY And the biggest news of all….I won most unique style for the senior superlatives in my class!!! yayyy haha. Today was a good day. Hopefully i will have more to write and more time to write it tomorrow. I’m off to shower. Adieu 

     I will begin to post the stories of my days online for public viewing. And also since no one I know really reads this it will be easier to vent all my frustrations without worrying about offending someone. Lets get started shall we?

      Well, today was an terrible day. Now that I think of it, it is a very bad day to start my blog about. But what the heck? So i had to go to the ER since I have the stupid problem of cysts on my ovaries rupturing at very inconvenient times. So i spent the greater part of my day begging someone to shoot me and relieve me of my misery until a VERY nice lady at the hospital gave me a shot of what can only be described as total euphoria. Since then i have done nothing but slept/drink coke/eat crackers/watch cops.

            Other than that, I must admit I have been feeling sorry for myself lately. My life hasn’t exactly ended up the way I would like it to be. Relationships? lets not go there. I hate feeling so alone all the time. Even though I have Lena (best friendd ) I still feel like part of me is missing. I feel like I don’t know where to turn or who to talk to. I lost the one that knows me best. And when I needed them most they aren’t here. Not that I blame them. It just makes me very upset at the way things are. And now that i have succesfully thrown one hell of a pity party for myself, I’ll talk about something happy.

    I have a new cell phone, which I love more than anything in the world right now. And also, I went to a small party with close friends this weekend and I must admit i had a great time. I have been changed due to the book The Stranger by Albert Camus. This book really has truly been an unexpected gift in my life. Now that i have finished it, I’m left with the true appreciation of life. It made me realize that acceptance is something that makes life what it is. I have also realized that I need to accept the things that  are going on with myself lately too…